While we were in college, Gilbert liked to gift me wildflowers that he would pick from the fields around our dorms. Quite often, I would get in my car after class and find a bunch of flowers in my seat.
From a very young age, Xander started doing this as well. There are still dried flowers in the bottom of the stroller. I finally had to designate a vase to keep my collection of flowers he picks for me. A few months ago he had been playing in the backyard by himself. He comes in with a frown on his face. “Mom-mom (yes, I’m not mommy or momma). I’m sorry I broke your flower. I tried to pick you a rose and I broke a big piece off.”
Silly boy. I was just glad that he did not cut himself. Some of my rose bushes have huge thorns. I went outside to see that an entire branch had been broken off. I trimmed the rose stem and added it to my vase. ♥ Yeah, my house is filled with dead flowers.
He started a Kindergarten prep class yesterday. This was so hard for me. I had to hurry out of the school before I started crying and anyone noticed. We were worried how he would adjust to school since he has never been to daycare or preschool. According to the teacher, he did wonderfully.
I think Gil and I have done a pretty good job. He’s amazingly intelligent and polite. He’s such a wonderful little boy.
He was so excited to leave this morning. Everyone in his class is already his friend. 
So now it is just Linette and I, who is still working on her hour-long breakfast and randomly waving at me. Then there is the occasional squeal as a kitten runs by. I love my babies.
Sometimes we need to take a moment to close out all the noise around us. Part of what keeps me sane are those moments where I can be alone with my thoughts. I like to just sit and think about life or daydream about things and places that cannot be.
I’ve been fairly introspective lately. I’ve been in high demand in the house lately, and it is very overwhelming. Xander is 5 going on 16, he thinks he knows better than everyone else. Linette is usually easy to get along with, but it seems her clingy moods always coincide with Xander’s demands for attention. Add a husband and his needs, and suddenly I find myself wishing there were ten of me. I haven’t even started on our pets!
So I take a moment, sometimes by telling Gilbert the kids are his for a bit and disappear into the bath, and realize this utter madness is also my happiness. They want so much of me because they love me, and I love them. I am never alone, even when I seek solitude.
A year ago we were blessed with the little girl we almost decided not to have. We had been trying to conceive another child for so long that we thought something was wrong and maybe I was unable to have another one. Having your first child via emergency c-section can make you all sorts of paranoid.
I started researching information about ‘only children’. In the weeks leading up to Linette’s conception, we were seriously discussing not having another one.
I’m so glad that didn’t happen! This last years has been such a blessing. It is amazing how very different baby Linette is from Xander when he was a baby. Have I mentioned how beautiful she is? I know it sounds like ‘mommy speak’, but it is impossible for us to go out in public without someone squealing and wanting to touch her pretty face.
We have all sorts of fond nicknames for her, like Babyzilla and Garbage Disposal. Where Xander is a picky eater, we have yet to find something that Linette will not eat. She is so full of personality. At times she seems to have more personality than many adults I know. We have a blast trying to figure out what kind of person she is going to be when she gets older.
When you have one child, it is hard to imagine how you could love another one just as much. You can. Your heart just grows bigger, and it gets all that much better.
I’m not really one for words. That is why I do art. 
If you are viewing from LJ, please click the link to this post to see the image.
